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Delete…Re-Write…Stuck Brain

November 26th, 2011

So I wrote and re-wrote and re-wrote again this blog. I think I just couldn’t decide what it should really be about. Should it be about brain development like the podcast? Should it be about learning to breathe like Kristi’s last blog? Or should it be about Thanksgiving because that is what happening right now? Nothing came to me. I even contemplated calling Donna and begging for her to take this week for me.

Was this writer’s block? (or is it bloggers block?) I was overwhelmed and stuck. My brain wouldn’t budge. I wondered if that’s what’s it like when kids become overwhelmed with everything that goes on over these next several weeks. Their brain becomes blocked. With all the hustle and bustle and here and there and fast and slow I wondered if their brain becomes so overwhelmed that they to end up wanting to  ‘delete and re-write’ like I did. Not literally writing and deleting but more through their behaviors, actions and words. Maybe there is more crying and clinging? Maybe there is interrupted sleep and more aggression. Whatever it is their brain is overwhelmed and stuck with all of the busy-ness of the adults in their lives.

As we look ahead to the next several weeks I think it becomes important to remember the brain development podcast – we are in charge of growing their brains. Be kind and gentle to their brain. Understand that all of this busy-ness may overwhelm their brain to the point of ‘waving the white flag melt-downs’. Remember to breathe over the next several weeks AND breathe with your children. They are never too young to learn to take a deep breath for relaxation. And finally ponder what the whole holiday season means for you and your family. Share those thoughts outloud with them as you walk through the next several weeks together.

How has your child shown you when their brain is stuck? What have you done to help them get through it?

I’m not deleting and re-writing this one……  :-)

Lori L Hayungs

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  1. Jen
    | #1

    I don’t have a problem getting them to take a breath and calm down, but it never sticks. They chill for maybe 5 minutes and then freak out again. What do I do when the only kind of attention they seek is negative. Am I missing the cue for the positive attention?

  2. Donna Donald
    | #2

    Jen – good question with no simple answer. There are likely many factors (age, temperament, environment, etc.) playing into what is happening. Here are a couple of things for you to think about and try. First – repetition, repetition, repetition. Keep repeating the “take a breath” and calm down process. Most of us have to do something over and over before it becomes natural for us. Second – consider how you react to your children’s behavior. Yes, children want attention and if good behavior doesn’t get your attention, they will often resort to misbehavior. So try working at “catching them being good.” Praise them for specific behavior you want to see repeated. Reward them with more of your time and attention when their behavior is positive. Be careful not to unconsciously reward bad behavior with an undue amount of your attention.

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