Archive

Archive for December, 2013

Turn that frown upside down

December 27th, 2013

Teen mood swings are about as notorious as the tantrums of a two year old. The seemingly instantaneous rise and fall of their happy and sad, the rushing tide of mad and glad followed by the rolling waves of its not fair. As I pondered how to talk about mood swings of teens I found a great resource on WebMD. Their fitTeens Mood Handbook shares 6 ways that teens can turn a bad day into a good day. I listed a few idea below. Click here for additional resources found on the WebMD fitTeens website.

“Reset your mood by doing something fun”…. I love the ideas here. Playing with the dog and reading a book are my favorite.

“Get creative”…… Writing, drawing. painting, singing are all ways to work through the mood blues.

Sharing some of these ideas with your teen or even sending them to check out the rest of the site might be a great way to slow the rushing tide of emotions they feel daily.

What are some ways you help your teen deal with their emotions? We would love to hear from you.

Lori Hayungs

 

fitTeens by WebMD

raising teens

No Dating Until You’re 30

December 20th, 2013

Teens love to hang out together – in large groups, small groups, and couples. As parents, we’re happy they have friends. But then we start to worry when the friends turn into boyfriends and girlfriends. Our immediate reaction may indeed be, “no dating until you’re 30!” dating couple

Realistically we know that’s not likely to happen, so how can we approach the dating decisions? Let’s return to one of the five basics of parenting adolescents. Monitor and observe means that you let your teen know you are aware of their activities and relationships.

In the beginning, there may be direct supervision. Perhaps you volunteer to chaperone the school dance or let some dates happen in your home. You might give the teens a ride to the movie, mall, or game. As the teens get older and have more experiences, your monitoring becomes less supervision and more communication. Ask where your teen is going, who is the date, and what the couple plans to do. When this is done in a conversational way, rather than an inquisition, you are more likely to get an honest answer.

Another important strategy is to build a network with other parents and adults in the community. Be willing to let each other know of the good things happening as well as any troubling trends or events. Watch for signs of troubled relationships or abuse. 

Dating is a natural evolution in relationships. While this issue may always strike angst in the heart of parents, dating is another step on the road to adulthood. Supervision, communication, observation, and networking with other adults are the keys to successfully traveling that road.

What family rules do you have for dating?

Donna Donald

raising teens , ,

I want you to know…

December 13th, 2013

blue hairI want you to know that not everyone is going to like you. I want you to know that you can fail and I will still love you. I want you to know that I am not perfect. I want you to know…

I find myself thinking and saying this phrase a lot. I have two teens and one nine year old that thinks she is a teen. There is so much I want them to know but so much that I don’t always say out loud. Yes, I want them to know, but I also know that sometimes they will ‘hear’ it louder from someone else. What resources can I share with them so they will find the answers I want them to know?

Below are some of the resources I have share with my teens so far. And yes, it was via text, email, Twitter or Facebook. I’ll use any means I can to share the  information I want them to know.

I Am In Control

KidsHealth -Teen

What have you shared with your teen? I would love to know!

Lori Hayungs

family time, friendship, parenting, raising teens, social-emotional , , , , , , ,

You’re Not Done Modeling

December 5th, 2013

Yes, parents still matter in the lives of their teens. Teens do care about you even though at times you may wonder. And – you’re not done modeling. In the podcast we shared the five basics of parenting adolescents with one being model and consult.

So you might be thinking – give me some specific strategies. The obvious one is to set a good example with your habits – eating, drinking, physical activity, risk taking. That old escape line of “Do what I say, not what I do” really doesn’t cut it with teens. And certainly you can model adult relationships - with employers, friends, partners, and spouses. Your teens will learn from how you interact and treat other people.

Here’s another strategy – answer teens’ questions. It’s ok to express your personal opinions on issues. Your teens may not agree but you are modeling different viewpoints and how to talk with people who take different positions. In our house we had the rule that we could talk about anything as long as people were respectful. Worked pretty well for us and it’s a strategy I continue today now that the kids are adults with teens of their own.

Have you considered that establishing or maintaining traditions is a form of modeling? During the holiday season families observe lots of traditions – some silly, some serious, some sacred. Traditions are often a tangible expression of values. For example, going to the grandparents’ home for a holiday meal and celebration models the importance we place on family. Attending a religious service on Sunday morning demonstrates spiritual values. Buying toys for an Empty Stocking program says we care about those less fortunate than us.

Now you get the picture. Teens still need their parents to provide information, teach by example or modeling, and carry on conversations about relevant issues. That’s a tall order but you are raising teens and these final years under your care are setting them on the path to adulthood.

Donna Donald

parenting, raising teens ,

Those Teenage Brains

December 2nd, 2013

Children approach their 13th birthday with excitement. They can’t wait to be teenagers. Parents, on the other hand, often see this milestone as the beginning of new worries. During December join us as we talk about what’s normal for teens and what parents can expect. And remember, teenagers’ brainsare still developing and won’t be fully mature until they reach their early 20′s. Research shows that with love, support and communication, parents can influence healthy adolescent development and survive the teen years. We look forward to hearing from you this month.

 

raising teens