Archive

Archive for the ‘social-emotional’ Category

Corporal Punishment….. ouch are we really gonna blog about it?

January 4th, 2013

Should parents spank their children? This month that’s our topic~ yes we really are gonna talk about spanking and alternative ways to discipline children.

Listen to the podcast, check out the links and then join us for great discussion!

Research Based links http://humansciences.okstate.edu/facultystaff/Larzelere/

corporal punishment, discipline, podcast, positive parenting, social-emotional, spanking, temperament , , , , , , , ,

Get a clue…

December 14th, 2012

Hmmm so I wondered after the last blog about myself and my children. I checked out the resources that Donna listed and am sharing here four of the clues to overindulging children. You can find the research and resources here….   4 Clues to Overindulgence

Instead of sharing with you the questions, I am going to share with you the examples.

  • My five-year-old has toys in every room of the house, but he is always begging for new toys.
  • My ten-year-old’s clothes closet is bulging with garments, but she can’t find anything to wear to school in the morning.
  • My 13-year-old has a heavy after-school activity schedule every day and all day Saturday. We want to keep him occupied so he won’t get into drugs.
  • My 17-year-old loves the computer and video games. He spends all of his time looking at the screen. He isn’t interested in sports, and it is a struggle to get him to exercise. I’m afraid he stays up half the night.

I encourage you to go view the questions. Then come back here and share your thought with us!

They made me think.

Lori

education, family time, friendship, overindulgence, positive parenting, raising teens, school, social-emotional , , , , , , , , , , ,

Overindulgence

December 2nd, 2012

Research shows that children who get everything they want grow up to be greedy, materialistic, self-centered adults. However, parents can raise their children to focus instead on internal life goals, such as learning, developing relationships and helping others.

In December, join us as we offer tips for parents on how to avoid overindulging children and learning when ‘enough is enough.  Overindulgence

education, family time, friendship, podcast, positive parenting, raising teens, social-emotional , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thank you, it’s a habit

November 29th, 2012

30 days of thankfulness was something I saw on various social networking sites all month long. As I looked at our blog and the social network sites (and then the upcoming topic for December) I took a pause and wondered… Did the 30 days of thankfulness create a habit? Does our modeling of manners and respect create habits that stick with our children? With ourselves? Is my grammar really poor in these sentences? (Oops I digress)

And that’s where my mind stuck…. Habits. Aren’t we essentially trying teach our children positive social habits when it comes to manners, empathy, respect and even thankfulness?  Habits. Seems like such a negative word sometimes because we often focus on ‘bad habits’.   But what if we stopped and thought about our good habits. The ones we hope our children turn into their own?

Play along with me —

What are some of your good habits?

Lori

family time, positive parenting, social-emotional

Pushing and Shoving

November 22nd, 2012

First we celebrate Thanksgiving with family and friends. Everyone is on their best behavior and we return home with full tummies and counting our blessings. Then comes Black Friday! The news will be filled with reports of people pushing and shoving and fighting – all in the name of buying gifts for the holidays. Am I the only one who sees the disconnect?

So parents, think about what you are teaching your children – both in words and actions. The simple niceties – waiting your turn, saying please and thank you, letting someone else go first, being patient, having a sense of humor – are good manners. They are also ways we show respect to other people. And these people are not just our family and friends. The respect is also extended to the tired clerk, the overwrought young mother, the waiter working extended hours, and the mall police person. If we stop and think for just a minute we can empathize what it is like to be in their shoes. We can appreciate the work they are doing and how it impacts our lives.

During the craziness that can bubble over this holiday season, lead by example. A smile and a kind word will make everyone feel better. And while you’re teaching your children, you are also teaching other adults that manners, empathy, and respect are important in a civilized society.

Donna Donald

positive parenting, social-emotional , ,

From manners to respect to empathy

November 15th, 2012

Empathy is the ability to understand the world from another person’s point of view. Empathy can also create motivation to treat another kindly based on that understanding.

Feelings Flashcards: Make flash cards with a photo or drawing showing different emotions such as happy and sad or scared and mad. Even three and four year olds can identify a range of emotions. Point out the different feelings and talk about them.

Share stories and personal experiences: share stories about times when you had similar feelings and let the children share back.

Puppets: Children are drawn to puppets and many lessons can be taught by them. Have puppets display different emotions and talk with children about them.

Share how you have seen empathy impact children’s relationships and friendships.

bullying, education, friendship, positive parenting, social-emotional , , , , , , , ,

Friendships and Children with Special Needs

October 29th, 2012

Children with special needs should be offered opportunities to create friendships. Some children will make friends very easily while others may need a little help from adults. Here are a couple of ideas on how to create peer interactions for children with special needs.

  • Encourage and arrange play dates
  • Organize the area in which the children will play
  • Have more than one of the same toy so children can play with the same toy, imitating and mimicking each other
  • Join in and play to keep interactions going
  • Never force friendships between children of any age or ability

“Friendship among typically developing children and children with special needs is not only possible but beneficial. With support and encouragement from adults, young children with and without disabilities can form connections that not only provide enjoyment but help promote their growth and development in multiple domains”. (eXtension.edu, 2011)

We would love to know your  ideas on how to encourage friendships for children with special needs.

For more information on friendships and children with special needs click on the link below.

Peer Support for Children with Special Needs

Aspergers, education, friendship, positive parenting, social-emotional, special needs , , , , ,

BFF

October 18th, 2012

BFF – do you have one? I see kids of all ages using this notation. And at the time they really are sure it’s true. I had a best friend all through my grade school years. Then in high school we quickly drifted apart and I found new groups of friends. Some stayed with me through college. Three are still a part of my life. As an adult I’ve accumulated many more friends. Some I consider BFFs.

The point is – friends move in and out of our lives. Sometimes as parents we get upset over the friends our children choose. But unless something dangerous is going on, trust your child’s choice in friends. Your son or daughter will pick friends who have shared interests – for example sports or music. Maybe they will be in a club together. Then as interests change, the friends may change too.

As a parent it’s hard to watch this friendship dance. But if you are patient, most of the time the kids will handle things on their own. They learn the “give and take” of friendship and how to work out problems. 

One thing you can do is encourage a wide network of friends and provide opportunities for kids to be together. Then stand back and watch the magic of BFFs unfold.

Does anyone want to share a friendship story?

friendship, social-emotional

The friendship model

October 11th, 2012

As I read the information on friendships I thought about writing about children – because that’s what the blog is about right? But the last part of the podcast really struck me. Where do children learn about friendships?  From the adults role-modeling around them. My children are learning about friends from me and I learned from my parents. 

So I spent that last several days listening and watching what my children see me say and do around and with my friends. Then I spent some time watching my children with their friends. Yep, sure enough it looked similar.  

I want to repeat the 3 bullets from the podcast -

 Friends:

  • provide emotional support
  • teach acceptable behavior
  • teach important attitudes

So I sit here pondering are there things I want my children to learn about friends from their friends? Are their things I want my children to learn about friends from me?  Yes and YES.  And I want the strongest most important lessons to come from me! So it will be up to me to  model about friends to them. Hmmmm Why do these blogs always turn into something I need to do?  :-)   

Share your thoughts with me on how you have modeled about friendships to your children.

Lori Hayungs

education, family time, friendship, positive parenting, social-emotional, temperament , , , , , ,

Navigating the world of children’s friendships

October 2nd, 2012

Parents want their children to have friends, but childhood friendships can be puzzling. One day a child is part of the “in group” and the next day he or she is on the outside. What’s a parent to do?

The good news is that parents can help children develop the skills they need to make and keep friends. Join us this month as we navigate through the world of children’s friendships.

Listen to a brief podcast on Children and Friendship:

education, family time, friendship, podcast, positive parenting, raising teens, social-emotional , , , , , , , , , ,

School Success…Let’s get started!

September 6th, 2012

This month we are focusing on how to get the school year started right!

The short podcast gives a few ideas on homework and we are having an evening webinar on Monday the 10th of September to add more ideas to create success!  Listen to the podcast and join us on the 10th!

Lori and Donna

education, homework, podcast, positive parenting, raising teens, social-emotional , , , , , , , , , ,

You Go Girl

August 31st, 2012

Boys and girls are different – well, that’s not news. But have you stopped to think about how boys and girls are different when it comes to sports. They have different attitudes about sports and they often feel differently about their physical development.

Let’s start with the attitudes. Boys really focus on their skills – how far they can throw a football, how hard they can hit a baseball, or how fast they can run. The boys work at constantly improving their skills to be a better player. Girls are people oriented. They want to be on the same team with their best friends. And girls don’t like being compared to others; they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.

Boys are proud of their physical development. My grandsons are constantly showing me how tall they are, how big their muscles are, and how much they weigh. I notice the granddaugthers are a bit more reserved about their developing bodies. The recent Olympics gave girls an opportunity to see physically fit women play sports with pride. That is a great model for girls and young women.

Data about successful women who participated in sports indicates they learned how to be authoritative, work on teams, set individual and team goals, and to be mentally tough.

What differences do you notice between boys and girls when it comes to sports?

Donna Donald

social-emotional, sports , ,

How old and when to play?

August 23rd, 2012

When should children begin organized sports?

Good question! Sometimes parents feel pressured to get their children into organized sports at a very young age.

I remember when my 5 year old daughter played soccer for the first time. I wanted it to be fun and something she enjoyed. It was the 4-5 year old age group, and after a couple of wildly amusing practices they had their first game. In the middle of the game she actually kicked the ball for the first time and stopped midfield, looked over at me and gave me the biggest grin and two thumbs up. She was so proud. At that moment another child ran past her and yelled “GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!”

Yep, my mouth hung open for a moment just like yours did. I can tell you that I literally saw her deflate before my very eyes. Be watchful and wary about when and where you send your children to experience their sport for the first time. Protect their egos and their developing brains.

 Here’s a little info on what child development says young children can ‘handle’.

At the preschool age (3, 4, 5 years old) - children are developing a sense of independence and decision making. They are typically too young for a structured formal organized sport. Their brain development hasn’t yet mastered the ability to ‘lose gracefully’ and they can easily bored and distracted. Not to mention disruptive and frustrated. If we push them to ‘pay attention’ and ‘follow the rules’ we may actually be turning them ‘off’ to the sport in the future. Preschoolers need fun and light hearted experiences with lots of room for goofiness when it comes to sports. 

How might you have handled my situation above?? Are there times that you have had similar experiences?

Lori

UPCOMING PARENTING WEBINAR

http://www.extension.iastate.edu/families/page/sop-webinar

bullying, education, social-emotional, sports , , , , , ,

Take Him Out!

August 23rd, 2012

We’ve all been there – cheering at the game and having fun watching the kids play. Then somewhere out of the stands comes that loud voice yelling, “What are you thinking, take him out,” or “Ref, how could you miss that call?” Then the tirade continues for the entire game alternately aimed at the coach, kids, and referees or umpires. Embarrassing – yes. Helpful to anyone – no.

I’m going to tackle (ok, its football season) the sensitive topic of adults and sportsmanship. It’s easier and safer to focus on the kids. But the truth is that adults can become overly involved. I am including all adults, not just parents, in this discussion. There’s no age limit, gender, or relationship that precludes an adult from “losing it” at a sporting event.

So what’s an overly involved parent or adult? Here are some questions to ask yourself.

  • Do I get in arguments at my child’s sporting event?
  • Do I object to calls and possibly cuss at the referees or umpires?
  • Do I insist my child go to practice or play in a game even if she is sick or hurt?
  • Do I complain to the coach about the amount of my child’s playing time?
  • Do I insist my child is much better than others on the team?
  • Do I tell or show my child how to play dirty?
  • Do I show more approval when my child plays well?

Ok, it’s gut check time. Did any of these questions make you squirm just a little? Did some of them hit close to home? We’re not perfect and it’s easy to get caught up in an intense game.

But remember, as a parent you are ALWAYS a role model for your child. Sports help character development and what are you teaching your child when you lose control of your emotions and actions. What do you do to keep calm at your child’s games?

Donna Donald

grandparenting, positive parenting, social-emotional, sports , , , , ,

Good Enough?

August 17th, 2012

As I thought about children and sports this month I want to share something I overheard.

A young child was working on a new physically challenging skill. He was working and working and working so very hard. Finally SUCCESS!!! HE DID IT! He was so proud I swear he grew 4 inches right in front of my eyes! “I did it I tried my best and I did it!”

The older sibling overheard the exclamations of joy and in a grown up voice replied “It’s never our BEST, there is always room for improvement”. 

SILENCE…….. DEFLATION………   end of working on skill.

Isn’t there a time when we really have done it ‘good enough’ to celebrate? Can’t we just stop and celebrate the moment and say “We did our best and we succeeded!” As we continue with children and sports this month, think about really allowing your child to celebrate the moment of their own personal success.

We ALL have to start somewhere and not all of us are going to be Olympians. Besides – without those of us having OUR OWN personal best, their would never be Olympians who we encouraged to be their best.

How have you celebrated personal bests with your child?

Lori

bullying, education, family time, positive parenting, raising teens, social-emotional, sports, temperament , , , , , , ,