Science of Parenting live interview with Quad Cities television station. Click here
Science of Parenting live interview with Quad Cities television station. Click here
Do you remember taking an economics class in school? What did you think about that class? Some will remember becoming dizzy by the numbers, others may have thought it was boring, and others may have been astounded by the technical aspect of all the numbers! Having a basic understanding of economics helps to guide our use of money throughout life!
Families who talk openly about setting financial goals including saving and budgeting, set a good example for their children to follow. When prices increase families have to have a spending plan that will meet their income and pay the bills! For many families, these discussions are difficult because we want to protect kids from the worry of adult family financial pressure. Opening the doors of communication can help the children realize why requests for new toys, or game systems come with the word “NO” more frequently than we like.
Helping children to understand that money is earned through hard work and that putting extra money away through a savings plan is one way to work toward earning a new game or toy! For many of us MONEY is an emotional issue, and those emotions affect spending decisions people make. As parents, our job is to help children explore their personal feelings and attitudes about money. When confronted with the difference between “needs” and “wants”, and knowledge about the most current balance in the checkbook, even children can make decisions about spending or saving!
Guest blogger, Carol Ehlers shares insight with us on talking about money with children.
There we were at the bank, my 5 year old daughter and I, on a Saturday morning watching 40 pounds of coins be counted. It was our daughter’s Christmas gift from grandparents’ year-long effort of saving coins. I thought what a great teaching opportunity and ‘money adventure.’
When the bank clerk handed her the light-weight small bank envelope containing cash the emotion on her face showed deep concern. By the time we got to the car there were tears and a demand that her money be returned. She was convinced that what was in the envelope did not equal her bucket of money and she had been robbed. That was over 10 years ago and the memory as well as this family ‘money story’ lives on.
Children get their first lesson on money management from the adults around them. By the age of three, children already have a good idea about how you feel about money. How you talk about it and handle it tells them a lot about how to approach money.
Children and Money
Children are not born with “money sense.” They learn about money by what they see, hear and experience. As they grow, children constantly are watching, listening and learning about money. How much does ice cream cost? Can I buy a new book or toy with my money?
As a parent, relative or other adult important in the life of a child, you are teaching the children you come into contact with about money. What would you really like them to be learning?
A great resource the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s ‘Money As You Grow’ provides age-based activities and conversation starters to help your children develop money skills, habits, and attitudes that can serve them well as parents.
Whether we as parents and caregivers realize it or not, children’s attitudes and values regarding money are influenced by how the adults in their world spend, borrow, save, share, invest and protect themselves with money.
Source: Talking to Children about Money
Carol Ehlers is an ISU Human Science Extension and Outreach Family Finance specialist working to empower consumers to take control over their economic lives.
Many parents think they can hide financial stress from their children, but the kids always know – and they’re worried, too. Talking together openly about family finances is a better way to lower everyone’s stress level and also teach kids about money.
Listen in while we start the conversation on children and money.
“It’s not fair”; “I don’t have time”; “It’s not my job”; Words often expressed by children who are asked to complete some household task!
Taking responsibility for a household task can assist children learn essential life skills, including taking responsibility, and expressing generosity. Families who work together to make decisions, keep the house clean, and care for one another, can use that energy to tackle even tougher issues! Don’t give up parents! Teaching your children to accept responsibility through assignments at home will create strong children!
I am very aware of the words I use to communicate! Words can be hurtful when used to bully, or demean others. The effects can last a long time, and those words can never be taken back. Compliments or words of affirmation can boost a child’s self-esteem. What words do you use to compliment your son or daughter?
Giving a compliment is a learned skill. Children grow and develop when given specific compliments or praise; showing you notice their effort in school, sports, or with your family. Some examples of positive compliments include, children making their bed; or hanging clothes on hangers. Children can be recognized for helping to care for a sibling with kindness and patience. Youth who have made progress in their school-work can feel a sense of accomplishment when a parent expresses happiness for a grade received or the completion of a school project.
The old saying—“sticks and stones can break my bones, but words may never hurt me.” Couldn’t be farther from the truth. Words can hurt. Chose positive words wisely!
Alert! Attention! Calling all parents and adults. Yes, YOU! I’m talking to you. Kids are watching. They are watching everything you do and everything you say. Some of the most important lessons kids learn about kindness are observed. But, will they pick up caring behaviors simply from watching? Yes, they will model our behavior, but they will emulate much more, if we can intentionally discuss and encourage positive interactions. It’s our duty and responsibility as parents to point out the positive interactions that we observe and to be mindful that kids might be watching every move we make, so we had better behave!
Children aren’t born knowing how to be kind or compassionate. However, these virtues can be taught.
How do we raise kids who are compassionate and kind? We can give them opportunities to practice being kind. Children must learn to be kind, just as we learn language. Practice makes perfect and parents can encourage such simple opportunities like helping with housework. Parents can help children learn how to focus on others who need help. Children need to hear from their parents that caring for others is a top priority.
Harvard researchers tell us that children aren’t born good or bad, and we should never give up on them. They need adults who will help them, at every stage of their childhood, to become caring, respectful and responsible for their communities.”
Join us this month as we share ideas about the importance of raising children to be kind and compassionate. Listen to the podcast below or read the transcript.
We love hearing from you, so join us!
The cost of raising children is expensive. It’s an art and a skill to balance the child’s wants, needs, and desires, with your financial means. But, sadly the emotional and social impacts of these decisions is often ignored. The parent experiences stress and the child-parent relationship is sacrificed for increased work hours in order to provide. We have to wonder is the cost worth it?
What children really desire is a close personal relationship with their parent, and because parents are often overextended, parents tend to compensate for their absence utilizing their wallet. They buy, and buy and buy, and might just over extend their bank account. What children and teens really want is attention from their parents. So the next time you feel compelled to purchase something that your child might not really need, instead, schedule some one on one time and consider the cost: PRICELESS!
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As we end one year and begin another, I felt it appropriate to share again the video link that Barb added at the end of her post last week. What We All Want
We are grateful for your presence with us as we strive to encourage and empower a younger generation.
Thank you from your blog team.
Janet, Lori and newbie Barb
Children can get caught up in a holiday frenzy of opening gifts and searching for more, without really paying attention to the gifts themselves or the gift givers. They can seem to be on a greedy quest. The experience can leave parents dazed and wondering how to encourage old fashioned gratitude and graciousness in their children.
Before holiday gift giving morphs into gift grabbing, parents can help their children move from greedy to grateful.
Join us this month as we blog about creating grateful children.
It’s easy. Simply text the keyword sciparent to 95577 to be added to our distribution list.
The Science of Parenting’s Web-based texting program operates much like an email service. After participants text sciparent to 95577, they are added to the Science of Parenting texting schedule and will begin receiving text messages with parenting information on a regular basis. Sometimes the messages will include links to photos or videos hosted on the Science of Parenting website. Participants can text their replies, as well.
Let us know what you think…..
Once people understand what ACEs are they ask “what now?” What’s next is the idea of resiliency. Resiliency allows us to be able to move past the negative consequences of adverse childhood experiences. Resiliency allows us to have hope in the future. Our desire to create resiliency leads us to search for ways to support and help families and communities.
Three powerful ways to create support are tapping into individual capabilities, attachment and belonging with caring competent people and a protective community, faith or cultural process. We know that individuals can lead successful thriving lives despite their ACE score. These three protective factors above are why they can overcome the damage from their ACEs and lead healthy happy lives.
Explore your communities for positive supportive protective systems. What do the protective symptoms look like in your community? Are there places to grow support your systems?
Share with us your ideas.
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