Dodging the Sticks and Stones…

Listening to the podcast and reading the blog I wanted to make sure that we had more opportunity to really think about the thoughts and ideas presented so I am bringing back Donna’s 3 points. Again – you may not necessarily like these suggestions but I want to dive in a little deeper…

  • Really pay attention to what you and your child watch on TV. Reality shows are popular but research points to the fact relational aggression on these shows far too common. Being mean is shown in a glamorous way for someone to “win” or become popular.
  • Next take a look at yourself. How do you interact with other adults in your home? What does your child hear and see? Does she hear you talking “mean” to each other? Does he hear you gossiping or making snide remarks about people? Children model what they see in the home.
  • Tune in to your child’s group of friends. Is it a group of kids that practice relational aggression? Are they children with low self-esteem or do they think they are “hot stuff”? Either way, help your child learn how to stand up to the mean behavior.

When you look at these suggestions and watch the children around you (yours or others) what are examples that you may have seen (in your children or others’ children) that show these points to be true?

How have you seen acts of relational aggression handled in a way that positively impacted the situation?

We may decide to blog about this topic all month if you would like…

Lori Korthals, M.S.

Mother of three. Lover of all things child development related. Fascinated by temperament and brain development. Professional background with families, child care providers, teachers and community service entities.

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3 thoughts on “Dodging the Sticks and Stones…

  1. I think a key point of Lori’s blog is what parents do and don’t do. We say we want our kids to be kind, considerate, respectful, caring of others. But do we regularly do it ourselves?

    Gossip- do we gossip or talk negatively about others (relatives, friends, neighbors, tv stars) at home so our kids hear it? Are we gossiping at work? If we gossip at work, high chance we gossip at home and don’t even realize we are doing it.

    When we are upset with our partner/spouse, do we have a private conversation with them in another room, or later when kids are not around? or do we tear into each other with kids in hearing distance?

    We all have been guilty of criticizing, gossiping about others. Its helpful to ask ourselves why we do that? what are we trying to accomplish? is it to try and feel better about ourselves? to feel more in control? has someone not met the expectations we have set for them? is it “all about me”?

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