When I get mad (and yes I sometimes do) I can feel it in my body. I get tense, my voice changes, and I’m sure my blood pressure rises. There’s a definite physical reaction which is a clue that I need to calm down.
Children also experience physical responses when they are mad. But they need help in learning to recognize the reactions. Then the next step is to figure out something else to do to defuse or calm that physical response.
Here’s an example. Kids often throw things when they get mad. Or they will bite, pinch, kick or hit someone. Those are not good ways to calm down. But the kids need a physical outlet for the anger. They can bounce a ball, run around the yard, punch a pillow, dance to music.
Once the physical reaction is lessened, then you can move to communicating and problem solving. But remember to first deal with the physical reactions to turn the anger down a notch.
So what do your kids see you doing when you get mad? I head out for a brisk walk, sometimes muttering to myself. But I almost always return calmer and ready to focus on whatever it was that made me so mad I couldn’t see straight.
What helps you calm down when you are mad? What are you teaching your child to do to calm down?
Teach them to stomp on the X! Make an X out of masking tape on the floor in your home, and send them there to stomp when they are angry.
Deb
Great idea Deb.
I’ve found that just acknowledging a child’s emotions is often enough to keep a frustrated child from getting angry in a destructive way. They seem to need someone to just acknowledge their emotion as they themselves don’t know how to handle it. But it is easier said than done
Good observation. Acknowledgement or affirmation is helpful with handling many emotions.