The Place Under the Trees

Many of us have been a part of the ritual – a small box is buried under the shade tree in the back yard. This becomes the final place for our beloved canary or hamster. As parents we don’t like to think about the demise of these special members of our family, but death is a very real part of having a pet.

Pets have significantly shorter lifespans than people but some will be companions for a considerable number of years. So how do you help your child when a pet dies? A child’s reaction is tied to her age and development, previous experiences with death, as well as the intensity of attachment to the pet. Check out  https://www.aplb.org/support/special-populations/ for detailed information on the reactions of children at various ages. This is a link from The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement.

As parents you can help your child honor and remember his pet in appropriate ways. Displaying photos, drawing pictures, telling stories, or holding a ceremony are possibilities.

Our family buried special dogs under the trees in the pasture where we imagined them running free. And I’ll admit to having a small urn in the closet containing my beagle’s ashes. Just the mention of Pearl’s name makes us all smile.

So how have you handled the death of pets in your family?

Donna Donald

Donna Donald is a Human Sciences specialist for Iowa State University Extension and Outreach who has spent her career working with families across the lifespan. She believes families are defined by function as well as form. Donna entered parenthood as a stepmother to three daughters and loves being a grandmother of seven young adults.

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E, I, E, I, O…..

Admittedly I am going to be completely biased on this topic However, I am including the research information so you can look for yourself.

I LOVE pets. All kinds of pets. Lots of different pets. I have had – fish, dogs, cats, spiders, mice, hamsters, rabbits and I’m really trying to convince myself I need a horse!  Now I haven’t had them all at the same time nor would I recommend it! But having a pet does have some very important benefits.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry lists several benefits. They state:

“Children raised with pets show many benefits. Developing positive feelings about pets can contribute to a child’s self-esteem and self-confidence. Positive relationships with pets can aid in the development of trusting relationships with others. A good relationship with a pet can also help in developing non-verbal communication, compassion, and empathy.”  Facts for Families: Children and Pets

How have pets enhanced your children’s lives? What have they learned from them? Share with us!

Lori Korthals, M.S.

Mother of three. Lover of all things child development related. Fascinated by temperament and brain development. Professional background with families, child care providers, teachers and community service entities.

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Dogs, cats, chickens, hamsters

I considered myself a lucky kid. I grew up on a farm with lots of space for animals. Pets were just a normal part of life. The fish, turtles, and hamsters shared our home. The cats occupied the back steps while the chickens and dogs roamed the yard.  They were our companions and playmates. It was never a question if we were old enough to have a pet; they just kept coming!

But for most parents these days, the question of when to get a child a pet is worth some discussion. One point for consideration is what is your purpose for having the pet. Is it for companionship and play? Or do you want your child to take responsibility for part or all of it’s care?

Let’s start at the beginning. Babies aren’t old enough to handle or take care of pets. Toddlers want to touch and grab pets. As the kids grow into the preschool age years, they are able to better understand how to handle a pet and fill the water and food dishes. I suspect that the “I wanna dog” (or whatever) gene really kicks in during the elementary years.

The good news is that school-age kids are old enough to assume some pet chores and can play with the pets responsibly. The bad news is that this age children may have short attention spans and change their minds often. So that dog wanted now may be not so much fun three months later. Preteens and teens have the capabilities to be responsible. But they are also getting into the “busy” years and pets will have to compete for their time. To keep your dog happy and healthy, there is an exercise dog toy that you can get.

As children progress through the elementary years, their desire for a pet often solidifies into a more earnest wish. While they may be capable of assuming some pet chores and playing responsibly, the challenge lies in their evolving interests and attention spans. What once seemed like an exciting prospect may lose its appeal after a few months. However, for families committed to providing their furry friends with the care they deserve, introducing engaging and stimulating activities, such as exercise dog toys, can be a solution. These toys not only keep dogs physically active but also mentally stimulated, catering to the pets’ needs even when the initial enthusiasm wanes.

For those who find themselves deeply passionate about fostering a healthy and happy relationship with their pets, exploring a career in dog grooming can be a rewarding endeavor. As preteens and teens navigate their busy years, the responsibility of caring for pets can evolve into a valuable skill set. Becoming a dog groomer allows individuals to merge their love for animals with a fulfilling profession. For those interested in pursuing a career in dog grooming, exploring educational opportunities can provide essential knowledge and hands-on experience. To embark on this exciting journey, visit www.theacademyofpetcareers.com, where you can find valuable resources and information to kickstart your path in the world of pet care. So, take the first step towards a rewarding career in dog grooming and witness the transformative bond that can be forged between groomer and pet.

So, no matter your decision as to when to add a pet to your family, realize that  as the parent you have the final responsibility for its care and well-being.

Note: Check out the ASPCA web site for some good thoughts about the right pet for your child’s age.

Donna Donald

Donna Donald is a Human Sciences specialist for Iowa State University Extension and Outreach who has spent her career working with families across the lifespan. She believes families are defined by function as well as form. Donna entered parenthood as a stepmother to three daughters and loves being a grandmother of seven young adults.

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Children and Pets

Children and animals seem like a perfect match. Many of us adults remember the special bonds we had with pets when we were children. It’s hard to resist the pleas of our kids when it comes to the adorable kittens and puppies and other little critters. But we also realize it is a major commitment to bring a pet into our home.

During April we will address the big question: Is a pet worth the effort?

We’ll share research in human-animal interaction and talk about how to determine the right age for children to have pets, how to make choices about pets and what pets can teach our children.

Join us!

Lori Korthals, M.S.

Mother of three. Lover of all things child development related. Fascinated by temperament and brain development. Professional background with families, child care providers, teachers and community service entities.

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