Adaptability: My Way or Another Way

Have you ever had an interaction with someone and they said, “No, do it my way”? And then did you resist, or were you able to try it a new way?

How we adjust to requests to “try something new” may be an indication of our ability to adapt. Like we adjust when working with other adults, parents may need an open approach when learning just how adaptable their own children are. Parents may perceive their easily adaptable child as compliant and even refer to the child as an “easy baby.”

The opposite can also happen. The child who is very focused on completing tasks their “own way” without help or assistance from others can be referred to as stubborn. Think for a minute of the child learning to feed themselves, or the older child learning to tie their shoes. It can take less time for a parent to simply feed the child rather than let the child learn to use a fork or spoon to self-feed.

Learning any new skill means we must adapt what we once knew to learn the new skill. In fact, childhood is a series of adjustments so that we can grow and develop. It really takes all kinds of patience and adaptability on the part of parents and caregivers to provide space for children to learn and grow.

Celebrating a child and their adaptability is as important as not shaming or blaming a child when they are slower to adapt or adjust. Continuing to communicate with our children and acknowledging that play is the way children learn can help all of us manage our expectations for child growth and development. Join the Science of Parenting podcast team as they discuss childhood adaptability.

Barb Dunn Swanson

With two earned degrees from Iowa State University, Barb is a Human Sciences Specialist utilizing her experience working alongside communities to develop strong youth and families! With humor and compassion, she enjoys teaching, listening and learning to learn!

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2 thoughts on “Adaptability: My Way or Another Way

  1. I have been listening to some of your podcasts while I walk. You talk about a temperament scale. Can you provide a link the list of temperament characteristics and a rating scale?

  2. We typically share two. The the resources found at and

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