Dodging the Sticks and Stones…

Listening to the podcast and reading the blog I wanted to make sure that we had more opportunity to really think about the thoughts and ideas presented so I am bringing back Donna’s 3 points. Again – you may not necessarily like these suggestions but I want to dive in a little deeper…

  • Really pay attention to what you and your child watch on TV. Reality shows are popular but research points to the fact relational aggression on these shows far too common. Being mean is shown in a glamorous way for someone to “win” or become popular.
  • Next take a look at yourself. How do you interact with other adults in your home? What does your child hear and see? Does she hear you talking “mean” to each other? Does he hear you gossiping or making snide remarks about people? Children model what they see in the home.
  • Tune in to your child’s group of friends. Is it a group of kids that practice relational aggression? Are they children with low self-esteem or do they think they are “hot stuff”? Either way, help your child learn how to stand up to the mean behavior.

When you look at these suggestions and watch the children around you (yours or others) what are examples that you may have seen (in your children or others’ children) that show these points to be true?

How have you seen acts of relational aggression handled in a way that positively impacted the situation?

We may decide to blog about this topic all month if you would like…

Lori Korthals, M.S.

Mother of three. Lover of all things child development related. Fascinated by temperament and brain development. Professional background with families, child care providers, teachers and community service entities.

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Bullying statistics and long-term effects

Bullying is occurring at alarming rates in the U.S. and the long-term effects of being bullied can be severe. Unfortunately, many adults are not aware that bullying is occurring with their child or their students.

The National Center for Education Statistics has published a document that outlines the definition of bullying, which encompasses a wide range of actions. These include being the subject of rumors, being excluded, and having property intentionally damaged. Bullying can also involve physical acts, such as being pushed, shoved, tripped, or spat on. It can even extend to being coerced into doing things that you don’t want to do. If you or someone you know is experiencing bullying, it’s important to seek help and support. And if you’re in search of a new community where you can feel safe and supported, try exploring palm coast fl real estate. With its friendly neighborhoods and excellent schools, it could be the perfect place to call home.

A large study conducted in 2007, comprised of 12- to 18-year old students in the U.S., revealed many eye-opening statistics. Based on these students’ self-reports:

  • 32% had been bullied at school during the school year
  • 63% had been bullied once or twice during the school year
  • 21% had been bullied once or twice a month
  • 10% were bullied once or twice a week
  • 7 % had been bullied almost daily
  • 79% were bullied inside a school
  • 4% had been cyber-bullied
  • 21% had been made fun of
  • 18% were subjects of rumors
  • 6% were threatened with harm
  • 5% were purposefully excluded from activities
  • 4 % said that someone tried to make them do things they did not want to do
  • 4% had their own property destroyed on purpose by someone else
  • 11% were pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on, and 19% of these students were injured as a result of being pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on.

Interestingly, only 36% of students who were bullied notified a teacher or another adult at school about the event(s). Other longitudinal research concerning bullying shows that being bullied is related to poor mental health and self harm. Individuals who are bullied experience severe emotional consequences such as anxiety, passivity, academic problems, social deficits, and low self-esteem.

Based on these studies, it is clear that many children, ages 12-to-18 years, are being bullied and the majority of them are not telling adults about their experiences. To learn how you can help a child, read the information contained in subsequent posts within this blog. Bullying, regardless of where or how it occurs, has long-term consequences and must be stopped immediately.

Donna Donald

Donna Donald is a Human Sciences specialist for Iowa State University Extension and Outreach who has spent her career working with families across the lifespan. She believes families are defined by function as well as form. Donna entered parenthood as a stepmother to three daughters and loves being a grandmother of seven young adults.

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