#GreatChildhoods Starting at Home

As we mentioned before, last month was Child Abuse Prevention month, and Science of Parenting is still thinking this important conversation. As you know, as Science of Parenting, we like to talk about research and reality. So that’s how we’ve decide to break this down.

RESEARCH

The research on abuse- whether physical, sexual, or emotional- is pretty clear that there are long-term outcomes for people who experience abuse as a child. As you can see on the Parenting Research tab of our website, research on the thoroughly-studied Adverse Childhood Experiences shows that child abuse is related to outcomes like depression, poor health outcomes, poor academic achievement, alcoholism, increased likelihood of future violence, and more.

Just looking at the research, it’s easy to think about abuse as something that other people need to worry about. It can be easy to see this information, and think about how we are glad it isn’t happening to our kids and move right along.

REALITY

According to a 2016 Iowa ACEs Study, “56 percent of Iowa adults have experienced at least one of eight types of child abuse and household dysfunction”. The reality is that child abuse has happened and is happening in Iowa. It’s happening in big cities, small towns, and on country roads… It’s not just those people over there who need to think about preventing child abuse. As parents and caregivers of young children, we need to think about it too. And a good place to start is right at home!

Starting at Home

RESEARCH says child abuse leads to negative outcomes. REALITY says some parents are do lose their temper and cross the line… (But let’s remember one of the potential outcomes of being abused as a child is the increased likelihood of being violent as an adult. Not every person had the luxury of an easy childhood or having great role models for parents.)

RESEARCH says staying calm in a frustrating moment with your child makes you better able to be intentional in your parenting. REALITY sometimes says “holy cow, how does this child that I love so much make me this angry?!”

Fortunately, Science of Parenting has a technique to help us all be more successful parents – Stop. Breathe. Talk. Whether you are prone to losing your temper or just need a technique to be intentional about your parenting, Stop. Breathe. Talk. can help you take that moment to check yourself before you act and potentially cross a line.

Here at Science of Parenting, we want to help all parents and caregivers help give their kids #GreatChildhoods! Stop. Breathe. Talk. can help us all along the way!

Mackenzie Johnson

Mackenzie Johnson

Parent to a little one with her own quirks. Celebrator of the concept of raising kids “from scratch”. Learner and lover of the parent-child relationship. Translator of research with a dose of reality. Certified Family Life Educator.

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Busy Families can create #GreatChildhoods

Analogue, classic, clock

April is Child Abuse Prevention month, which means Science of Parenting is thinking about what makes #GreatChildhoods. For me, I fondly remember singing in the car with my mom, standing on the end of the grocery cart, weekends by the lake, and doing lots of puzzles.

As much as we love our kids, sometimes it feels hard in the chaos of life to carve out good quality time with them. I find myself saying things like, “well it will be better after next week” or “we will have more time after we get through [fill in the blank]”. At times I feel like I’m just floating from one day to the next trying to get by. Whether it’s work commitments, transporting kids, trying to squeeze in some exercise, community service commitments, or finding time with your significant other, being a parent in this generation can feel like we are constantly trying to beat the clock. How do we have special moments with our kids when we come home from work exhausted and still have to get supper on the table before bath and bedtime? Does it always have to be big family vacations and long weekend trips to the lake? The answer….

No, you don’t have to have big chunks of time to have special moments with your kids. Though carving out large amounts of time for things like family vacations can be beneficial (check out a #throwback on this topic – Family Vacations Radio Show), great childhoods can be built in the midst of life’s other commitments and responsibilities. We can look for “little moments” or pockets of time throughout the day to just spend a few minutes talking with your child. In fact, a lot of the memories I have of my childhood came in between big commitments. The singing in the car often happened on short trips to and from a traveling sports team game in a neighboring town. The goofing around on the grocery cart happened while my mom picked up our food for the week. Those “weekends at the lake” sometimes were actually only two hours on a Saturday morning before a commitment that night. The puzzles often happened at the table while supper was being made.

As I think about my own parenting, learning about the benefits of little moments is great news! Focusing on creating #GreatChildhoods in the little moments is a saving grace, because at times I’ve felt like I’m being the best parent I could be because of other constraints on my time. So join me as I try to move beyond saying “it will get better after [blank]”, and let’s look for ways to create special moments now! Yes, things are crazy right now at my house, but I can sing songs with my daughter in the car on the ride home. Yes, we still have to make supper tonight, but maybe our school age kiddo can help stir the pot on the stove or we can ask our toddler about the magnet letters on the fridge while we cut up some veggies.

Take a moment right now, and think about a little moment with your child you can have today. Be intentional about making a plan that’s realistic for you, and then decide how to carry it out (get creative if you need to – e.g. video calls or writing notes). All of these moments can add up to #GreatChildhoods!

Mackenzie Johnson

Mackenzie Johnson

Parent to a little one with her own quirks. Celebrator of the concept of raising kids “from scratch”. Learner and lover of the parent-child relationship. Translator of research with a dose of reality. Certified Family Life Educator.

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